Embracing the gift of singleness

I tell people I am “romantically asleep” when they ask me the “do you have a girlfriend?” question. Yes, it’s kind of a weird punch line, so I usually explain by saying something like,  "Now don't get me wrong, being single is tough. I know I don't have the gift of singleness, and I am working super hard to establish myself to be able to be married ASAP. But until I reach that point, I have thought it best just to stay single." If the person I asked genuinely cares about me, or if they’re not slowly backing away from me with eyes glazed and jaw gaping, I also add that being "romantically asleep" is hard, painful even, like the pain Adam felt in his sleep when God pulled a rib out of his side.

Yes, this answer is too long. Sometimes a “no” works too. ;)

Thankfully, a sermon by pastor Matt Chandler on "singleness" hit me right between the eyes last week.. It helped cut through my elaborate story and gave me fresh perspective on this season of singleness I find myself in. Pastor Matt talked about how all singles have been given the gift of singleness—that it's not just reserved for those "Eunuchs born that way" in Mathew 19:12. Whereas I viewed singleness as a gift given to those who don't feel their need deeply for a help meet, Pastor Matt challenged us to view our current singleness as a blessing, even if we desire to be married.

Like 1 Corinthians 7:32-35 says, we singles aren't bound by the extra "worldly" worry of caring for our spouse. We can be more devoted to serving the Lord, and this season of our life can be used powerfully for Him! Singleness is a benefit according to Paul, and this revelation is the only way to make sense of 1 Corinthians 7. We should accept this truth and be thankful for it! How repulsive to see a child open a gift from their parents--and then immediately whine that it's "not what they wanted". How much more despicable would it be for us to do the same thing to our Heavenly Father!

I don't want to be that whiny child. I refuse to treat being single as a burden any longer; I refuse to put on that long face of "poor, weary saint" like the Pharisees did when they were fasting. This season of singleness that God has called me to is not a burden, but a gift! I desire to enjoy it to the fullest, for His glory.

Matt Chandler shared this quote in his sermon, and it really sums up where my heart is now: "I am not single because I am too spiritually unstable to deserve a [spouse] or too spiritually mature to need one. I am single because God is good and this is his best for me." Page Benton Brown.

Yes, that is true! I really do believe it, and I am enjoying “his best for me”, just like I will enjoy pursuing someone, Lord willing, when the time is right. I do love this season of hard work and challenging college goals. I love the "free time" I have to pursue Godly knowledge through good sermons, books, and the different avenues of ministry I am pursuing as a man "anxious only for the Lord.” I won't waste this time being anxious for the help meet God is still fashioning for me. One day, Lord willing, later this year when I have another busy mowing season (possibly my last!) under my belt and am closer to graduating, I will wake up and start looking for a help meet suitable for me, but for now I am peacefully asleep.  And no, I don't think it hurt Adam when God took a rib from him anymore. I can honestly say that and believe it. I am experiencing this comfort in Christ! God is so good, and He knows just the gifts to give his children in their seasons of need.

Do you need this same encouragement to view this season of singleness as a blessing? I will share the link to Matt Chandler's message below. I would also encourage a careful reading of 1 Corinthians 7 after watching the message. It's my prayer that it will encourage you like it did me, single brother or sister. It's heartbreaking to think that any Christian would bemoan a gift from God! Take heart! God knows exactly what we need, and He provides in His good timing. Enjoy the abundant life he gives now, no matter what season of life you're in!

Here's the message:  Matt Chandler: Singles

God bless you all!