Embracing the gift of singleness

I tell people I am “romantically asleep” when they ask me the “do you have a girlfriend?” question. Yes, it’s kind of a weird punch line, so I usually explain by saying something like,  "Now don't get me wrong, being single is tough. I know I don't have the gift of singleness, and I am working super hard to establish myself to be able to be married ASAP. But until I reach that point, I have thought it best just to stay single." If the person I asked genuinely cares about me, or if they’re not slowly backing away from me with eyes glazed and jaw gaping, I also add that being "romantically asleep" is hard, painful even, like the pain Adam felt in his sleep when God pulled a rib out of his side.

Yes, this answer is too long. Sometimes a “no” works too. ;)

Thankfully, a sermon by pastor Matt Chandler on "singleness" hit me right between the eyes last week.. It helped cut through my elaborate story and gave me fresh perspective on this season of singleness I find myself in. Pastor Matt talked about how all singles have been given the gift of singleness—that it's not just reserved for those "Eunuchs born that way" in Mathew 19:12. Whereas I viewed singleness as a gift given to those who don't feel their need deeply for a help meet, Pastor Matt challenged us to view our current singleness as a blessing, even if we desire to be married.

Like 1 Corinthians 7:32-35 says, we singles aren't bound by the extra "worldly" worry of caring for our spouse. We can be more devoted to serving the Lord, and this season of our life can be used powerfully for Him! Singleness is a benefit according to Paul, and this revelation is the only way to make sense of 1 Corinthians 7. We should accept this truth and be thankful for it! How repulsive to see a child open a gift from their parents--and then immediately whine that it's "not what they wanted". How much more despicable would it be for us to do the same thing to our Heavenly Father!

I don't want to be that whiny child. I refuse to treat being single as a burden any longer; I refuse to put on that long face of "poor, weary saint" like the Pharisees did when they were fasting. This season of singleness that God has called me to is not a burden, but a gift! I desire to enjoy it to the fullest, for His glory.

Matt Chandler shared this quote in his sermon, and it really sums up where my heart is now: "I am not single because I am too spiritually unstable to deserve a [spouse] or too spiritually mature to need one. I am single because God is good and this is his best for me." Page Benton Brown.

Yes, that is true! I really do believe it, and I am enjoying “his best for me”, just like I will enjoy pursuing someone, Lord willing, when the time is right. I do love this season of hard work and challenging college goals. I love the "free time" I have to pursue Godly knowledge through good sermons, books, and the different avenues of ministry I am pursuing as a man "anxious only for the Lord.” I won't waste this time being anxious for the help meet God is still fashioning for me. One day, Lord willing, later this year when I have another busy mowing season (possibly my last!) under my belt and am closer to graduating, I will wake up and start looking for a help meet suitable for me, but for now I am peacefully asleep.  And no, I don't think it hurt Adam when God took a rib from him anymore. I can honestly say that and believe it. I am experiencing this comfort in Christ! God is so good, and He knows just the gifts to give his children in their seasons of need.

Do you need this same encouragement to view this season of singleness as a blessing? I will share the link to Matt Chandler's message below. I would also encourage a careful reading of 1 Corinthians 7 after watching the message. It's my prayer that it will encourage you like it did me, single brother or sister. It's heartbreaking to think that any Christian would bemoan a gift from God! Take heart! God knows exactly what we need, and He provides in His good timing. Enjoy the abundant life he gives now, no matter what season of life you're in!

Here's the message:  Matt Chandler: Singles

God bless you all! 

Keeping the Captive

KEEPING THE CAPTIVE

To my dad, and to all the Godly mentors the Lord has brought into my life! Thank you for your grace and patience in all you have taught me over the years! May I always speak the truth. . . but in love.

~~~~~`

Too busy to rest, then too restless to sleep. What an odd sensation these Earthlings lose themselves in. They pride themselves in their freedom while they wholeheartedly collect chains. Another pleasurable sin, another vice, another death. We see the natural progression of the natural man, and sometimes we think our job is easy. 

Take my captive, for instance. Your typical, foolish Earthling. He doesn’t help our cause much, but that’s okay. He is slowly dragging himself into the dirt, crushing himself under a load of sins and chains he’s been collecting since birth. I’m watching him right now. I’m obsessed with keeping him. It’s my job. I have provided him with the essentials, of course—a pathetic façade of “life is good” and a couple of weapons to fight back the logic of the enemy with. In one hand he carries the wisdom of man, their primary choice to deflect the evident truth that there is a God. It’s a blunt spiritual sword, really, because who can deny His existence? In the other hand he carries a shield of healthy skepticism of spiritual things. He doesn’t even think I or my kind exist!  I smile at this little captive soldier I’ve built. His armor is so pathetic . . . no more than a mask to hide the deep pain of a meaningless life. And yet off he trudges into another day, ready to fight for his freedom to remain my captive.

You can see why I think my job is easy sometimes, and I am only a low-ranking force compared to most of my comrades! Pardon me for not introducing myself earlier. My name is Lucius, and I am an enlightened angel serving the Morning Star. I reject the plan my Creator had for me, and I live to serve my new lord in his quest to establish his kingdom over all the created world. I live, like he does, to steal, kill, and destroy. I repeat that pattern over and over with each new assignment—each new captive— I am given. I steal away their hope and chance at an abundant life. I crush their earthly life. And they are destroyed forever in an eternal punishment so horrible it was originally reserved for us. Yes, you simple humans call us demons, but don’t forget what we once were. We’re more real, more glorious and profound, than you ever will be in your natural state, Earthlings. Which is why we want to keep you that way.

Does my captive even know we are destroying him? He must know, because despite my hardest efforts to the contrary, he has been exposed to the light several times. He knows of the abundant life our enemy offers . . . a life of true freedom and broken chains. A life of power over the grave and victory over our temptations because of the work of the Son of Man. It’s terrible. Sometimes I can’t believe he doesn’t wake up and see it. Is sin that pleasurable that he would choose it over life?

I jerk myself from my contemplations and turn my attention back to the task for the day. Keep him captive; don’t let them change him. A flash of doubt sparks through my mind. My orders are clear, and though they seem utterly antithetical to my mission, I trust with utter confidence in my superiors. I am taking my captive to see a Christian today. We’ve been orchestrating this appointment all morning, and it is almost show time.

My captive is hard at work at his day job. He works at Starbucks—long shifts too. As many hours as he can get. Right now, he is wiping tables. He’s got his back turned to the Christian, who is walking toward him with coffee and computer bag in tow, but that will change in a second. Sure enough, almost right on cue, the Christian opens his mouth to speak. Here we go!

“Good morning! Thanks for wiping that table.”

“Yeah, not a problem,” my captive replies.

“I can’t stand tables that still have crud on them,” the Christian says. He unslings his computer bag and plops it on the edge of the table, where my captive has already cleaned. They are now on opposite ends of the table from each other. My captive has his head down, rubbing away at the sticky ring someone’s caramel frap has made. The Christian is staring at him awkwardly, waiting for him to finish, trying to think of something else to say. He shifts from one foot to the other, then takes a sip of his coffee. He gulps it down too quickly, I think. It looks like he burns his throat.

“You having a good morning?”the Christian all but chokes out.

“I’m hanging in there.” My captive straightens up and snaps his rag clean. I am afraid he is going to turn and leave, but thankfully, for the sake of not looking completely indifferent, he reciprocates the question. “How about you?”

“Oh I’m good!” the Christian replies. “God is good!”

There it is. Finally! These Christians, they are often so slow getting around to mentioning the God they claim to serve. This is the whole point of the meeting though! A test. A conflict. And if all things work out as planned, a captive even deeper in bondage. I lean forward, watching every moment unfold. I’m ready to insert myself if need be.

Right on cue, my captive bristles. Up goes his shield. It’s invisible to earthly eyes; I wonder if the Christian even notices it. But regardless, my captive’s words make it clear where he stands. “Well, I’m glad God’s working out for you anyway,” he says.

“You don’t believe in God?” the Christian asks. Ah, you see, he wants this opportunity too. The spiritual conflict is inevitable now. I feel myself thrill to the fight. The coffee house setting fades and all but disappears in my mind’s eye. I am immersed in this glorious, eternally-impacting struggle.

My captive shrugs. ”I don’t know. I believe in things I can see and observe.” With these words, he unsheathes the spiritual weapon I have equipped him with, the wisdom of man. I’m disappointed to see that he doesn’t thrust deep with it. Not yet, at least. Maybe he will once he feels more threatened.  

“I have seen and observed God!” the Christian replies. “He is evident in all His creation!” With these words, out comes the Christian’s weapon. It shines brighter than gold, like sunlight on a pure, white snowfield. It is sharp and deadly, able to cut right through the pathetic armor we equip our captives with.

I shudder and draw back, suddenly terrified. What am I thinking! Such a weapon can easily destroy any fortress I might build. It is absolute torment to me! In a moment, I am ready to take flight and flee for my life. Let me go black to darkness, away from the light and the battles. Who cares what happens to my captive, if only I am safe from that terrible weapon! But my eyes lock with one of my superiors across the room. He is a seasoned warrior for our master; he has destroyed countless numbers of captives. He tells me in that glance to hold on.

“I only know,” my captive is saying, “that many, many smart people believe in evolution. What’s more, science has proven it!” It’s a weak thrust with a blunt weapon. Such a jab won’t dent the shield of faith most Christians have, and sure enough, it glances harmlessly off this Christian’s shield.

The Christian raises his brilliant weapon high. It is his turn to strike. I all but grovel in my place behind my captive, knowing I will feel the terrible bite of the Christian’s spiritual weapon. Surely it will rip me to shreds, or if not me, then my doctrines of deceit.  The weapon drops, and I all but screech and flee . . .

 But the blow doesn’t strike me! It cuts deeply into my captive, rending right through his pathetic armor. I hate to see the armor rent, but I am so glad I didn’t receive the blow that I can’t be truly upset.

“The fool says in his heart, there is no God! Fools deny the self-evident truth of God and suppress the truth with their own foolishness. You are a fool if you follow them!”  

Again and again the Christian raises his weapon and strikes. He shares truth after truth, battering down my captive’s feeble attempts to raise his shield of skepticism.  At first I flinch with every stroke, sure one of them will be directed at me, sure that my plans for keeping my captive will be harmed. But with each stroke, I grow more confident, and then even exuberant as I watch. My captive reels from each blow. His spirit is being crushed. He is being emptied and insulted, bludgeoned out of humanity itself. The Christian’s work is far more devastating than any of my efforts in my captive’s life the last year. What amazing destruction! The Christian’s weapons are indeed powerful.

I realize the brilliance of my master’s scheme. Why take my captive to a Christian? For precisely the reason before me! Their weapons can cut deeper than any of ours, even our most potent ones like rage, jealousy, and slander. We know this from experience. Countless numbers of our spiritual strongholds have fallen to the power of their weapons and the Lord they serve.

But what if—imagine this! What if these Christian soldiers mistake our captives for their enemies?

The battle is over. My captive disengages, too weary to continue. The Christian watches my captive as he heads back to the employee section of Starbucks and he even calls out “God bless you!” as if he has just won a great victory. But it is I who have won! Yes, my captive lost his shield and weapon—they are battered to pieces!—but he still carries his chains. He stumbles underneath them, his inward person too damaged to hold up under them much longer.

My captive finds his way out the back door, to where the employees who smoke take their breaks. His friend Joe is there, sprawled out on a green, rust-speckled bench. I wave hello to my comrade assigned to Joe, and he gives me a knowing look and a thumbs up. Joe takes a drag from his cigarette and does one of those “cool man” chin bobs at my captive. “What’s up, dude?”

“I hate Christians.”

Joe laughs. “You too, huh? What happened? Some zealot aim his blaze of glory at you?”

“Yeah, big time Bible-thumper.” My captive sighs, kicks at the cigarette buds that litter the floor, and sits down on the bench next to Joe. “What’s their problem, man? Do they take pleasure in ripping us apart?”

“Naw, they want you to believe what they do, bro.”

“By pounding me into the dirt? I’d rather go to hell than believe what they do.”

“Haha, that’s the spirit. Believe in what makes you happy, that’s what I live by. If that sends me to hell or not, I don’t know. But at least it makes life here bearable.” Joe taps the ashes out of his cigarette and leans back like he has just shared a bit of profound wisdom.

“Keeps our Sundays free, that’s for sure,” my captive replies wryly. For the first time this morning, he smiles. This is perfect! Bit by bit, Joe has nursed my captive’s wounds. He’s helped him recover! At the end of it all, he’s handed my captive back his shield of skepticism and helped arm him again with our spiritual weapons, and my captive is stronger for it. He just might make a good soldier for our cause someday.

The two humans share a laugh, and my captive rises and clasps his friend on the shoulder. “Thanks, Joe, I appreciate you being there for me. I got to get back to the tables.”

“No problem, man, anytime.” Joe flicks his cigarette on the floor and stomps it. “I’ll follow you in. Gotta keep making the big bucks, right?”

“Haha, that’s right. One day at a time.” My captive holds the door open, and the two of them file in.

I pause at the door, collecting myself. Proud, very proud. My superior meets me there. It may sound weird to you humans that we have emotions too, but he is all but smiling as he says, “Good work, Lucius.”

“Thanks. I did well?”

“Yes, it went as well as planned.”

“So what’s next?”

“Same thing as always—keeping the captive. Don’t lose him.”

“After today? I don’t think I ever will.”

My superior nods. “Just keep him away from Christians who actually know how to use their weapons.”

I grin maliciously. “Sounds like a plan!”

~~~~~~

The Lord’s bond-servant must not be quarrelsome, but be kind to all, able to teach, patient when wronged, with gentleness correcting those who are in opposition, if perhaps God may grant them repentance leading to the knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, having been held captive by him to do his will. 2 Timothy 2:24-26

Does God Call Us to Prioritize Which Neighbors We Serve?

I find my seat against the back wall of the central living room in the retreat lodge. I settled into the hard plastic chair, scanning the cramped room around me. 25 or so of my dear brothers in Christ from our church are gathered. Despite the tight, uncomfortable quarters, the mood is light and filled with anticipation. The men chat jovially, and when it comes time to join in worship, we sing full-heartedly. The excitement and fellowship in the room is so tangible that it surrounds me like a warm, comfortable blanket. Who cares about sitting on this rock-like plastic chair for the next couple of hours. Our church’s annual Men’s Retreat is one of my favorite weekends of the year, and judging from the mood of the men around me, I am not alone in this sentiment. We are all looking so forward to studying God’s Word together and growing in Christ together!

A reflection of this is the group approach to the messages shared. We have not invited a guest speaker these last couple of retreats. Instead, we have men from the church step up to deliver messages. It gives us commonality that way, a close bond of growing together and speaking truth to one another in love. Tonight, it is our dear brother Mike Aust presenting a message. Our theme for the retreat is “Loving Your Neighbors”, and I knew he would tackle that theme head on in his message. Mike is that kind of guy. He is quiet, but confident. A man who seems to think before he speaks, but then speaks with authority what he thinks.

I’m not disappointed as I listen to his message. It flows straightforwardly, if a little sporadically thanks to some technical issues and the heavy amount of scripture he asks for volunteers to read. He asks us, “Who is our neighbor?” And after a pause, thanks to the common wariness of a trick question, Dr. Williams on my right shifts in his hard-plastic chair and says, “everyone.”

Mike nods at this and affirms that that is what he would think too, but then we begin to investigate the heart of God to learn who our neighbor is. We see clearly from verses like 1 Samuel 2:8 and Job 5:11 that God has a heart for the needy and the lowly. We learn in Psalm 12:5 that God will arise and help the needy and set him in the safety for which he belongs.

At the same time, we learn of the opposite category to the needy in other verses: the arrogant. What is God’s heart towards these neighbors? We see a prayer in Psalm 72:4 to “vindicate the afflicted of the people, save the children of the needy and crush the oppressor.” We see clearly in Psalm 138:6 that “God regards the lowly, but the haughty He knows from afar.” What is more, the wounded man on the side of the road in the parable of the Good Samaritan is clearly needy and the one who is provided for, while the arrogant Priest and Levite are nothing more than a sad footnote in the story—an example of who not to be. God exalts the humble, but opposes the proud, is the main sentiment buzzing in the room at this point.

The challenge Mike leads us to as a result of this study is: does loving our neighbor include service to the arrogant? If we are made in the image of God and should seek to portray him, do we serve our arrogant neighbors the same way we serve our needy neighbors?

Now people are shifting in their seats, as if it has just occurred to them that they are, in fact, very uncomfortable. The anticipation has swung to a growing feeling of tension, of confusion in the eyes of the men. As Mike’s presentation winds to a close, it is Stephen Johnson, a man I have worked for and respect a ton, who sparks the conversation we all have been left wanting. As if the tension in the room was a gas vapor that had just found a flicker of flame, the conversation explodes among us men.

“Who then is our neighbor?” Stephen asks.

That is the question in all our minds. It would seem, mistakenly or not, that Mike just asked us to seek to reach those who are needy rather than those who are arrogant. The response this provokes is varied and quite possibly volatile, if it weren’t for the committed love and commonality we men of Shoestring Valley Community Church have for one another. The first response that grabs my attention is from Monte Bainbridge, a worship leader in the church, who points out that we all are arrogant, to varying degrees. It is not a question of reaching out to the needy over the arrogant, for such a notion would force us to split each other in half, to try and minister to one side of us while ignoring the other. We are all both needy and arrogant.

Jeff Oien, a logger and self-described “simple man”, chimes in, agreeing with that sentiment. Everyone around him is his neighbor, obviously, and should be reached out to the same whether they are arrogant or not. In fact, the arrogant are very needy, just in a different way.

Mike responds that “okay, well if you want and that is what God has called you to. But I’m warning you, you won’t have a ton of success.” He shares a couple times he has tried and “failed” to reach the arrogant. The men of the church are quick to point out that when you share God’s Word, it is never a failure. You can plant seeds in the heart of the arrogant even if it doesn’t look like they have responded in any meaningful way.

I watch my dad. He keeps raising his hand to speak—but not far enough to be obviously seen. He gets about as far as ear-level with each raise of the hand, and then usually ends in scratching the back of his head. My dad, ever cautious to create a scene, clearly has something to say. I think at first that he is going to confront Mike’s line of reasoning, but I am surprised by what he says when he gets a chance to speak.

It is in context with Forty Days for Life, which is to be expected since our world has kind of revolved around the campaign this spring. My dad shares how though we pray for the arrogant Cecile Richards, leader of Planned Parenthood, to come to faith in Christ and would share the Gospel with her if we ever got a chance, it is the needy women being victimized by abortion that we are primarily seeking to serve. It’s the needy that deserve our devoted attention.

Mike agrees, “I heard once,” he says, “that the arrogant deserve our prayers, while the needy require our service.”

Jim, who has a last name I can’t attempt to spell out correctly and who is about as quirky as his last name (in a good way), shares how Jesus spoke to all, the Pharisees and the tax collectors and sinners. This strikes me as untrue, because Jesus clearly responded in a different way to the arrogant Pharisees, saying some pretty harsh things to them and veiling the truth from them in parables. As I have listened to the back and forth, my thoughts have slowly formed around another example in Jesus’s ministry.

I finally get a chance to speak up near the end. “What I hear Mike saying,” I say, “is that we are to have priorities in who we seek to reach. As much as we would like to reach the world, we can’t. I was thinking about how when Jesus sent his disciples out in pairs to share the good news of the Kingdom, he told them to shake the dust off their sandals in towns that wouldn’t receive them and move on. God doesn’t call us to keep wasting our energies to reach people who won’t receive us. We should primarily serve the needy who actually desire our help.”

There are some nods of agreement, and Mike says that was a great example of what he was talking about. I feel weird aligning myself more towards the “priorities” side of the aisle—because honestly, I agreed whole heartedly with what Jeff had said about everyone being our neighbor. And I can see some brothers disagree with what I said. Is there a way to love everyone as our neighbor, I wonder, while still recognizing our specific calling to serve the needy?

Pastor Dean closes the discussion time by emphasizing how much he appreciates that our church can have these discussions. It’s a sign of a healthy church to seek out truth together, and to express our opinions in a way that will not cause division, but to help us grow. I can’t agree more. While the conversation was tense, it never became divisive. We all appreciated the chance to wrestle with this interesting perspective on loving our neighbor. It is a great way to start the retreat, and the lodge’s living room is still a comfortable place of fellowship and anticipation. I find that I don’t mind at all the soreness from sitting on the hard-plastic chair for the last couple of hours. It was well worth it.

True Beauty--it's not crazy

True beauty is . . . "let's be crazy?"

I've recently been struck with yet another truth in the Bible that our culture has twisted. If you listen to any secular song, the girls guys sing about are always described as "wild" or "crazy". I once tested my theory by listening to a country station on my way home from work. Every single boyfriend/girlfriend song centered on how the girl was incredibly spontaneous and wild (and all the guys drank and had big trucks, but that is a subject for another day). It's almost as if the only girl worth pursuing in their minds is the girl who runs around in the rain singing "it's a party in the USA!" or the one stealing the guy's cowboy hats and hearts . . . or partying till the "cops show up to try and shut us down".

The more I think about this, the more I know it is a lie. And my heart is so sad for the many Christian young ladies who have unquestioningly bought the lie that to truly be beautiful, you need to have that wild side. But please trust me when I tell you that not all guys think that is really an essential to beauty! And more importantly, it would seem our God's description of a beautiful woman runs at an almost complete parallel to what our world says today:

In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. Your adornment must not be merely external—braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; 4 but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.

Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised. Give her the product of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates. (Proverbs 31:30-31

To me, these are the girls worth singing about! I would encourage all of my sisters in Christ to carefully evaluate who you get your identity from. Would you rather believe Hunter Hayes and the gang of other high-pitched Pop-singer boys telling you to be wild and crazy? Which, to be frankly honest, are the same characteristics of a women no one should aspire to in the Bible: "She is boisterous and rebellious and her feet do not remain at home" Proverbs 7:11. Or would you rather listen to the words of the Almighty God who is infinitely wise and wants the best for all of us? One last verse I hope encourages you (think "sisters" instead of "brethren" below) ;0):

Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12:1-2

Post script: Just for a little bit of clarity: Obviously, there is a big difference between cheerfulness and wildness! A girl who is happy, cheerful, and kind-hearted is most certainly the virtuous woman in the Bible,  because all those characteristics are outward fruits of a woman who truly fears the Lord! Also, I know I am kind of preaching to the choir here, but I just felt like I needed to share these thoughts with you all to encourage you sisters in Christ, and hopefully to remind my brothers in Christ of what is truly beautiful! ;0)

Fruits of the Spirit: Love

Love

Love can mean many things today. For instance, it can mean merely that you like something (I love that new book by Douglas Bond!). It is also often used to describe the attraction between two dreamy-eyed young people, or even the feelings you have for some other animate thing, like a cat (unfortunately). But what is love in its purest sense? What is this love that is listed as the first fruit of the Spirit?

Well, first off, it is very important. It is the greatest commandment in the Bible to have this love, and without it, we are nothing (see 1 Corinthians 13:1-3)! Here is what Jesus had to say about Biblical love:

And He said to them, “’You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and foremost commandment. The second is like it, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ On these two commandments depend the whole Law and the Prophets.” (Mathew 22:37-40)

No wonder love is listed as the first fruit of the Spirit! According to Jesus, the whole Old Testament hinges on this love, and of course a good case can be made that this love is a huge part of the New Testament as well. We must understand this love for what it is (and consequently, what it is not) if we are to live out a life in service to our almighty God.

Let us first quickly get rid of the notion that the love of the Bible is anything like that which the world understands today, cuz’ it is not even close. However much you “love” your cat, for instance, that is nothing compared to Biblical love. For some (odd) reason, you use the word “love” to explain your feelings for your cat. Maybe it is the fluffy fur, the way it chases that laser beam around the room, or even because in your mind you think cats are cute (a bad analogy, I know, but let’s roll with it). But really, that “love” is pretty superficial. Shave away its fluffy fur and try to give it a bath, and your “cute” kitty will become a bald, furious terror that will claw your hands to shreds before it lets you dunk it in water.

Try loving them then.

I’m sorry, I’m sorry! By now you can tell I am not necessarily a fan of cats. But I digress . . . As with my (perhaps overdone and humorous) analogy of the cat, the love our world understands is a self-serving, very-shallow emotion. When things change for the worse, the world tells you to withdraw your love and move on. The second you have a dispute with your spouse or feel he/she is not giving you what you need, the world completely understands your need for a divorce. The fact that about fifty percent of marriages today end in divorce is a sad sign of just how superficial the love of the world is.

But Biblical love is so much different! It is patient and kind and is not jealous or boastful. In short, Biblical love is selfless! As this well-known passage puts it:

Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. (1 Corinthians 13:4-8a)

Wow. Simply, wow.

Practical Application

How are we to cultivate this amazing love in our lives? What are some practical steps we can take to show this love both to God and our neighbors?

Love God

First and foremost, this love can only start in our lives after we put our trust in God. In and of ourselves, our love will look like that of the world. Selfish. Superficial. Ugly. It is only through the Holy Spirit’s power in our lives that this fruit can grow. Cultivating this love starts on our knees before God.

I believe that the second you trust in Jesus as your Savior, your love for Him starts. It is pretty hard not to love someone who has saved you from eternal death, after all. The direct result of your love for God is keeping his commandments. As Jesus said:

“If you love me, you will keep my commandments.” (John 14:15)

Do you want to love God? Keep His commandments. Your love for Him will only grow, for the more you read God’s Word and obey His commands—the more you abide in Him—the more this fruit of the Spirit will grow! I highly recommend reading John 15:1-11 to see what I am talking about.

Love your neighbors

I got this one easy. I have great neighbors, including my aunt and even my grandparents in the summer time, so this commandment is no problem!

Or is it?

Just who exactly are my neighbors? A lawyer in Luke 10:25 asked Jesus this same question, and though He answered with a parable, Jesus’s response was no less stunning. The lawyer was looking for a way to justify loving only a select few—of wrenching out of Jesus a comfortable “loving your neighbor to-do list” that could be easily checked off. Instead, Jesus gave him the parable of the Good Samaritan.

In this parable, a Samaritan stopped to help a badly beaten and robbed Jew on the side of the road, something that a Jewish priest and a Levite didn’t even care enough to even think of doing. You must understand that the Samaritans and Jews of Jesus’s day did not get along. At all. They shared a mutual disgust for each other. The Samaritan would have been more in character if he had stopped to give the half-dead Jew a kick to the gut, but instead he had amazing compassion on him.

And Jesus tells us to do the same.

Yep, Jesus answered the “who is my neighbor” question in a way that is less than convenient to any to-do list. Essentially, He defined our neighbor as anyone who needs our help, even those we despise. This definitely keeps in line with Jesus’s teaching, as he tells us elsewhere to love even our enemies (Mathew  5:43-44)! At this point, I am sure our lawyer friend was feeling pretty uncomfortable, as should all of us.

Again, there is no way we can accomplish this kind of love on our own. It is called the fruit of the Spirit for a reason, because we can never produce it in and of ourselves! However (and thankfully), the Bible gives us many practical tips on how to live out this love through the power of the Holy Spirit.

Remember, one of the qualifications for Biblical love in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a is that it “does not take into account a wrong suffered.”  Jesus expounded on this principle when He told us not to retaliate when someone wrongs us in Mathew 5:38-42, right before He tells us to love our enemies. We are to turn the other cheek when we are offended. Though this may seem a little off topic, it definitely reflects the love we should show.

Furthermore, Jesus says a couple of verses later that part of this love we are to show is to pray for those who persecute you. I am not going to pretend that is easy. When we were taking part in the Forty Days for Life pro-life campaign in front of our local Planned Parenthood clinic, my family was verbally assaulted by a decidedly angry man who we later learned had a daughter in the clinic, probably receiving abortion counsel. It was so bad that another man hopped out of his car and offered to call the police for us. As my dad was working that day, I was naturally the one to step up and take most of the name calling. And I was called all kinds of things. A half-hour later when the man finally left us alone, I was shaking with anger and emotion. When my mom suggested that we should pray for him, my first inclination was “no way!”

All of us returned home emotionally-sapped that day, but we did pray for that man right there on the street and forgave him, and I for one felt much better after that prayer, as I am sure all of us did. God knows what He is doing when He tells us to pray for our enemies, and though it may be hard, He wants only the best for us. And it is.

Probably the most well-known and applicable command on how to love your neighbor is found in what we call the Golden Rule in Mathew 7:12:

“In everything, therefore, treat people the same way you want them to treat you, for this is the law and prophets.”

This is the perfect description of what loving your neighbor should look like. We all would like to be treated with the love shown by the Good Samaritan to the needy Jew, right? Do the same to others.

It is my prayer that all of us will seek to grow in this amazing love through the power of the Holy Spirit, for it is this love that should define a Christian. Lord, help us to pursue this love and make it our own as your disciples! Help us to love everyone, even our enemies.  Help us to daily walk with you. Amen.

“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.” (John 13:34-35)